


Santa's Business

by Mis_Shapes



Series: Christmas Bits & Pieces [2]
Category: A Song of Ice and Fire - George R. R. Martin, Game of Thrones (TV)
Genre: Advent, Christmas Fluff, Elf on the Shelf, Fluff, I Blame Tumblr, I Don't Even Know, M/M, Modern AU, Throbb babies, Tooth-Rotting Fluff, children with children, don't look here for anything at all serious, merry christmas season
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-01
Updated: 2017-12-01
Packaged: 2019-02-08 23:03:34
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,456
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12874932
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Mis_Shapes/pseuds/Mis_Shapes
Summary: A mysterious parcel arrives at the door, the contents of which Robb refuses to reveal to a suspicious Theon.Elf on the Shelf Advent fluff with an older Robb and Theon plus children.





	Santa's Business

**Author's Note:**

> For those of you not familiar with elf on the shelf - http://www.huffingtonpost.co.uk/2015/11/27/elf-on-the-shelf_n_8661510.html

“I’ll get it!”

Robb streamed past Theon in the narrow hallway towards the front door, which was incredibly noisy and bouncy on the bare floorboards. He just about managed to flatten himself against the wall and out of the way in time as Robb, with Grey Wind beside him, excitedly opened the door to the postman. Falling against the long line of hooks bearing a wholly unnecessary number of coats and woollies, his feet tripped over the loose shoes that hadn’t been put away onto the shoe rack.

“What is it?” Theon asked suspiciously as Robb signed for the parcel with it tucked under his arm protectively.

Robb looked bashful and perhaps a little guilty as he closed the heavy wooden door, shouting a last thank you to the postie as he walked down the short chequer tiled path and through the creaking cast iron gate. His face was lit by the coloured light streaming in through the stained-glass window of the door and the transom.

“Umm… it’s Santa’s business,” he answered, hoping that will end the discussion, tapping his nose. He had the look on his face he got when he was about to get told off, especially when he’d bought something daft. Not that Theon could really complain with the amount of clothes, shoes, and swanky house furnishings he bought on a regular basis. Most of the coats and shoes getting in the way were his.

“Hmmmm,” murmured Theon, raising his eyebrows and crossing his arms over his chest, “It’s still November.”

“Some people like to be prepared. Not all of us leave it until the Christmas eve panic. Besides, it’s the 30th. It’s December tomorrow.” He was trying to be all cool and casual about it now.

“Oh no… It’s not another ridiculous advent calendar, is it?” It looked about that size, not a chocolate one – one holding toiletries or booze or something. If it was for him he’d forgive him. 

“No! I can know the date just because if I want,” Robb protested.

Theon made a sudden grab for the box, trying to catch him off-guard. Pre-empting the attack, Robb attempted to hold it out of his reach above his head, but he could just about get his fingers on it. Excited by what was going on and the mischief that had started, Grey Wind jumped up with his paws on Robb’s chest, thinking the parcel was a toy. Robb pulled away to race up the carpeted stairs, knocking some of the art and photos on the wall skew-whiff. 

“You can run but you can’t hide, Stark,” yelled Theon, fighting to get past the massive dog and to his husband. Eventually, he managed to get one hand on the oak bannister up on the landing and the other on the decorative dado rail and hurdled over the top, which was no mean feat, especially clearing him with his long legs. At least he was barefoot.

Robb was breathless from his sudden exertion and laughter as he jumped up onto the brass framed bed. Making a slight bounce on the bed, he was messing up the sheets as he imitated a rugby player, dodging from side to side. Theon grinned wickedly as he kicked back to close the door behind him. Rounding the foot of the bed, he reached out to pull Robb’s feet sharply from under him, decking him easily.

“Hey!” Robb shouted mid fall, flopping onto the bed. 

Theon leapt on too and crawled over him to grab the parcel, causing shock by slinging it across the room. Eyes widening, Robb was about to complain that something might have broken, Theon didn’t know what’s in there, but he quickly came to realise his intentions and grinned widely. Instead of the box, he moved his lips tauntingly out of the way as Theon’s own chased them, putting up a fight until he could no longer resist. The kiss was long, deep, and clearly supposed to be a promise of things to come. 

Pulling away, he chuckled at Theon, “we can’t.”

“We can! Jon’s downstairs,” Theon protested.

“That makes it worse!” Laughed Robb, incredulous.

“I don’t think that’s actually true.”

“Daddy? Poppy?” A little voice called from the stairs and they pulled away from each other. Theon fell flat out on the bed in despair as Robb rolled from under him.

“Told you so!“ Robb laughed at Theon, and called out, “yes, sweetpea?” 

He was instantly off the bed and approaching the door when Dacey struggled with the door handle. Opening the door, he found her stood holding a knitted octopus by one of its arms and picked her up. She was four now, but he spoiled her rotten and refused to stop picking her up despite Theon’s complaining that she needed to start using her legs, especially when out and about. The stripy octopus was her favourite; a gift from her aunt, Asha, from when they went on a special trip to an aquarium together.

“What’s going on?” She quizzed curiously, wrapping her dinosaur pyjama clad legs round his waist and arms around his neck as he supported her under the bum with his arms, and cocking her head to the side.

“Nothing, squidlet, poppy’s just being silly,” he told her, giving her a little nuzzle.

Half of Theon’s face moved off the bed as one eye peeked out at them at both the use of the name by Robb and the accusation of _him_ being silly. He’d tolerate the name poppy from the kids, but Robb now did it to wind him up. He prayed with all his might it will never be uttered in front of any of his family. He dreaded to think how that would go down.

“What are Uncle Jon and Edd up to?” Robb asked, mostly to change the subject as he carried her off out the room and down the stairs.

Smirking, Theon eyed up the box in the corner of the room, the cardboard corners were dented now. Robb was mad if he didn’t realise he was going to open it and find out his secrets as soon as he’d left.

*

“She’ll never buy into it!” Theon insisted, turning the box over and over in his hand disapprovingly later that evening, “I think you underestimate her. She’s too clever and inquisitive for this sort of nonsense, like her pop,” he added smugly, smirking.

He, Robb and Jon sat in the Livingroom with the two of them sat on expensive sofas that he’d insisted on buying despite Robb’s words of caution. What had he been thinking buying ones without removable covers? Olive coloured velvet ones no less. It was a problem even before children. Perhaps more so at times. The room was filled with the scent of coffee and Irish cream, from the addition of Baileys, they had started on the seasonal drinks early this year.

“Even if she figures it out she’ll still think it’s fun, she’s not a cynic like you, yet,” mocked Robb affectionately. 

“It’s so creepy though, look at it,” Theon turned to show the elf to Jon, who’s mouth twitched into a smile while he thumbed through their vinyl records despite trying to stay out of this tiff, sitting cross legged on the floor by the shelf. There were more and more things they find they were able to tease Robb about together these days. Grey Wind was lying up against his littermate, between them the pair took up most of the floor space.

“… I think it’s kinda cute,” Robb tried, snatching the red doll with a Santa hat from Theon and inspecting it.

“No, you don’t!” Theon laughed at him as even Jon couldn’t supress a chuckle.

“Okay, maybe it is a little hideous. But in a funny way. Come on! It will be fun.” 

“Fine, but you’re in charge, I’m not going near that thing with a barge pole.” He pulled a face at the plastic faced creature with rosy cheeks that looked like it belonged in a horror film.

“Fine by me,” smiled Robb, already scrolling through ideas on the internet.

*

The next morning, Theon listened to Robb explaining the Elf on the Shelf that had ‘appeared’ with their advent calendars, and reading them the book that has come with it, peeking his head round the door from the next room while pouring them bowls of cereal out into plastic bowls. Dacey was eating it all up though clearly very tempted to touch the thing, while Edd grizzled over not being allowed to eat all the chocolate in one go. Robb was in his element, sat down on the floor with them as he brushed Dacey’s hair, attempting a plait that Theon would be required to take out and redo, getting ready for going to school. She wanted hair like Theon’s, but the texture was all wrong, the thick blonde and ever so slightly frizzy waves fall into her eyes, but then she was stubborn like the pair of them. Robb loved this stuff, Christmas and traditions and the like. A hangover from being raised in the large and traditional Stark family. It was all a little lost on Theon, for the time being, not that he didn’t like it – he just wasn’t _as_ interested, and that wasn’t difficult.

They were woken the day after by the cool rush of air as Edd, their still very squishy 2-year-old who still smelt like milk, decided to crawl up under the duvet between them, but from the bottom of the bed. He was in his favourite starry baby grow he insisted on wearing still despite having grown out of it – Theon had had to cut off the feet and hem it to stop his toes curling under.

“It elf! It elf on shelf!” Declared Edd, delighted.

Dacey began tugging at Theon’s hand, trying to usher him out of bed the see the elf. He refused to comply and moved his foot to put it on Robb’s legs.

“Ack! Ge’ore!” Robb yelped. “That’s freezing!”

“I know, and you’re so nice and toasty,” cackled Theon, who was habitually cold, and did it again, “you best get out and see your elf.” Pulling Dacey into the bed, he pretended to eat her belly and made her giggle merrily as she thrashed about.

“ _Our_ elf,” Robb hissed at him, doing shifty eyes between Dacey and Edd as though they might deduce what was going on from just that one, apparently very crucial, word.

“Sorry, sorry! Of course.”

Grey Wind jumped up onto the bed, causing them all to wail and the smalls laugh hysterically as he licked Robb’s face. This was the last straw for Robb who forced himself sleepily out of the bed while rubbing at his face. He was not a morning person by any stretch of the imagination, but both the dog and elf were his, so he could deal with them.

Theon pulled the down duvet around himself and shuffled over into the warmer spot Robb had made, curling around the pillow that smelled like him, and listened as the three of them went to inspect what the elf was doing and where today. Smiling at the excitement, and Robb pretending to be surprised, as he dozed back off to sleep.

*

About a fortnight later the full weight of Robb fell onto Theon as they sit watching a film, cutting off the circulation to his arm, he was fast asleep. When it finished he nudged Robb and blew onto his face, watching amused as his eyelids and nose began to twitch. Robb’s hand flapped at him to get him away. Smirking, he slunk out from underneath.

“Come on sleeping beauty, time to go to bed… Seriously now, I’m not carrying you up.”

“Fucking elf…” murmured Robb, trying to make himself move.

Theon grumbled, rolling his eyes at himself for caving, “what do you want me to do with it?”

Robb smiled with his eyes still closed, “there’s some emergency printed off Christmas jokes in the dresser drawer. Put it somewhere with one of them.”

“Okay. But you owe me.”

“Thanks, babe,” he mumbled. His face lit up at the knowledge of the face Theon was making at the name without even seeing it, he knew him too well.

Having fallen back to sleep, Robb woke wondering where Theon had got to. Looking at his watch, a Christmas gift from Theon last year, it was about 20 minutes later. Maybe he’d given up and gone up without him. 

He wasn’t prepared for what he found in the kitchen. Sat on one of the benches at the long wooden table, Theon was picking the white marshmallows out of a bag of pink and white mini marshmallows they had stashed in the cupboard for hot chocolate. Set up across the table was a scene in which he had built two Lego walls and set dolls from the doll’s house and other such toys, along with the elf, on either side. They were about to have a ‘snow ball’ fight with the marshmallows.

Internally congratulating himself on drawing Theon into it all, he draped himself over his back, his chin resting Theon’s head. He couldn’t tell him this was a well thought out and executed plan. Theon sunk back into him, proud of himself, before pulling back away to continue his work. He liked to think he wasn’t into these things. He’d complain about them having to be in fancy dress for something and then, rather than stick them in something they already have, or sticking with something simple, he’d work for hours whipping something spectacular up. He couldn’t resist the temptation to get creative; to use his hands. Robb popped a couple of the marshmallows into his mouth, purposefully picking a couple of the white ones Theon had picked out.

“We need some little magnets, I’m going to unpick the seams and pop them in its hands and whatnot, with some wire but I think we already have that. You’ll be able to do way more stuff with it then.” He didn’t even look up as he said it.

“Hmmm,” murmured Robb, brushing his dark silky hair to the side to kiss and nibble his neck. Theon’s ear tickled from Robb’s hot breath as he rasped into it, “are you coming to bed?”

“You head up, I just want to finish this first. Won’t be long,” he claimed, not even acknowledging Robb sucking on an earlobe.

On his way out, Robb paused and turned back to look as he stepped up into the hallway from the slate kitchen floor, his hand on the doorframe, it was clear Theon was going to be a while. He found himself wondering just what he’d done.


End file.
